Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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