Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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