I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My first STD was from a foam party
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
