I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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