i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We're too hungover to prance.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
