It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
