it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
