the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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