Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I want a musical about memes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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