you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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