no you cant smoke seaweed
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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