I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
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I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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