so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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