If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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