ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
