Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
