Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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