this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
