I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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