our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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