i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
