Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize