hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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