WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
