is wine microwaveable?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
