dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
