I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
