it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
