Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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