pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
