Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
