i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
