he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
a search helicopter?!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
