Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
