margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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