I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Houston, we have a blender
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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