I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
