I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize