I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
