I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
