You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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