Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
