Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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