You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize