I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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