DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize