we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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