Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
