Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
