Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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