i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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