so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
