pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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