she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
