I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They took my balls.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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