Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
