the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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