just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize