you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize