Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
