My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
