all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
