hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
