I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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