return my video game
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
