we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
