So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im holly from the hills drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
